Why There’s No Country Called Doofus (A Poem)


Why There's No Country Called Doofus (A Poem)

© 2008 NeoJabez

Artist’s Comment: Lots of adventure stories feature characters who maintain the comic relief, whether absentmindedly and naturally, or as a device to hearten their companions, and return morale to a hard situation. R2-D2 and C3PO are prime examples of those whose levity, intentional or otherwise, give us a good laugh. This work features an army of such clowny entities. If you were born in or otherwise descended from Poland, don’t be offended, as there are millions of Pollack jokes in the world already, and there are few countries that would fit so well into the quasi-medieval setting of this work, not to mention; Poland has been conquered numerous times by outside forces, perhaps this prose delves into why. This poem is a rare and unique break from more serious subjects by the author.

The knight-captain rose
And stubbed his toe,
Moving for his metal suit.

His bellow flows
And raised two notes,
When his other toe smacked his boot.

The knight-captain swore
And shrieked once more,
As he put on his plate and greaves.

His armor was frigid
And thouroughly rigid,
And alas, so he sneezed.

This caused a blow
‘Tween his helmet and nose,
Causing quite a honk of alarm.

That’s when the knight
Fell out of the fight,
With no need of enemy harm.

Suffice to say
That’s how it went that day,
The Doofus army fell one by one.
The winners got the spoils
And all of the Doofus soil,
But changed it’s name to “Poland” for fun.
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